Parabatai
by Carla Samojeden
Summary: Scenes from a future "Lady Midnight" between Jules and Emma. They know they are parabatai. They know they are in love.
1. Parabatai

Emma Carstairs was in the training room when she realized that she was running late for the meeting Helen set up that same morning while they were having breakfast. When Emma was practicing she usually didn't care about time or when she run late for one _silly_ meeting, but Helen was so reiterative that morning that now she was more than curious about what she had to say.

She was being so solitaire those last days, she knew that the anniversary of her parent's death was just around the corner and when that time of the year came she blocked herself from the world, even now she couldn't stand the fact that they weren't there anymore, and that she wasn't going to see them again. That she couldn't say goodbye.

She threw the last knife to the wall, hitting the right spot, just in the middle and a gracious smile was drawn in her face.

Emma started walking towards the library, that's where they usually met when they had to plan some attack or just discuss things about the Clave. She was in her training suit and she didn't bother to stop by her room to fix her hair or change clothes, she was living with shadowhunters, and shadowhunters were looking messy all the time. If they were not defeating demons they were training, if they were not trying to save mundanes they were training, and if they were not trying to keep peace with the Downworlders they were training.

That's how interesting her life was.

Although she was glad of the life she had she couldn't stand being held to the Clave, always following their damn rules; she wanted to travel the world, she wanted to find the person who murdered her parents and make him or her suffer like they did with her.

Emma was a lonely child, an orphan, and she couldn't help thinking that she would feel that way until she avenged her parents.

When she entered the library Helen was sitting on the edge of the table, already talking, giving some sort of speech, and when she saw Emma she paused, giving her a severe look.

"You are late."

Emma ignored her words; she picked a chair and sat there, just waiting for her to continue with her speech.

Helen rolled her eyes.

"As I was saying, we think we are under some sort of danger, this attacks keep happening again and again, and they all carry the same mark. Whenever a Downworlder or a Shadowhunter dies their skins are engraved with fire, and the mark is a kind of Greek letter, or so it seems to be." Helen began to move a photo around the table, there was not only Julian's uncle but to her surprise there were some members of the Clave, and Emma recognized the red haired girl who was sitting next to Helen as it was Clary Fairchild. She wondered why her husband was not with her, they seemed to do everything together. "The attacks began here in Los Angeles and we're hoping not to go further and, of course, not reach Idris." At that time Emma reached for the photo with the mark Helen was talking about, and his skin crawled completely. There was something about that symbol that it was too familiar, the mark took her to the past and she didn't know why but she was sure it was related to the murder of her parents.

It could _not_ be a coincidence.

It could not.

Not this time.

"We felt that the few Shadowhunters that were here at the Institute could handle the situation but, as you can see, this matter is more serious than we had predicted. That is why I would like to personally thank you for being here and you are more than welcome to stay in our bedrooms."

They all nodded, and Emma knew she was going to spend all week trying to evade any member of the Clave as she was not in the mood and had no energy to deal with them.

"Well, that's all for today," Helen concluded. "Tomorrow we will meet early in the morning to do research groups and divide us for clues about the murders that were already carried out. Thank you all for coming. You are free to go."

When most people stood Emma immediately noticed the absence of her _parabatai_ since she could not find him anywhere.

He hurried to reach Helen and stopped her before she left the library.

"Where is Julian?"

"Julian had another task." It was all Helen said. Emma knew she was upset because he had not respected their schedule but her eyes begged her to say more. "One of the Lightwood's cousin will stay at the Institute and I asked Julian to make her a tour and guide her to her bedroom since, for now, she is the only one who has confirmed her stay here at the Institute. I didn't want to be a bad hostess and Julian did not seem to have any problem."

Emma tried to utter a word but she was speechless, she did not understand why she felt so angry because her _parabatai_ was not with her, or rather, he was with _another._

"And now how is he going to know about everything that is going on?" Emma asked indignantly. "Julian will have no idea! We have to inform him, we must warn him of the attacks and ..."

Helen opened her eyes wide and completely interrupted her.

"Emma, he is already aware of everything." Helen's voice was calm, trying to reassure her as it seemed she had lost her head. "Don't worry, Aria already took care of that."

And without saying anything else Helen retired from the library, leaving Emma perplexed, with a bitter taste in her mouth and with a huge desire to go across "Aria's" throat with a seraph knife.

Emma knew she had no reason to freak out, she had no _right_ to do so. Julian was free to be with whoever he wanted, to date as many "Aria's" as he wanted, but she could not help but feel a strange anger growing from her feet and staying like a wild fire right above her chest.

She was burning and not in a good way. She knew herself perfectly, and she was well aware when she was about to explode or about to hurt any moving object that cross her path.

To make everything even worse, when she entered the training room to clear her head, Julian was standing right there, showing _her_ favorite place to another girl, and she felt like he was sharing all her secrets with this stranger, like he was betraying her.

She stood frozen at the door, she couldn't decide if she wanted to stay or if she wanted to jump a cliff and die. Now, Aria was giving Julian a seductive smile and he was about to correspond her gesture when he realized that Emma was standing at the door.

He froze too.

"Emma"

Aria turned and gave her a smile too.

"Are you Emma?" Aria approached her, she wasn't sure why was she doing that, Emma wasn't a very social person and she could not hide her disgust towards her. "I've heard so much about you, I mean, about your childhood and all."

Oh, she did _not_ just say the C word.

Now that Emma could have a look at her she was even more jealous. Aria was as beautiful as all the Lightwood were, with dark hair and big matching eyes. She was wearing her training suit as well, but she had made some changes to it, and you could admire her long legs and her developed body. She was certainly one of the most gorgeous girls Emma had met in her entire life.

She couldn't believe she was just thinking that, but she couldn't help to do it.

She was sure Jules felt the same way.

"Yeah, I guess that's me." she said, her voice never sounded so defeated. Julian tried to meet her gaze but she completely avoided it. "Sorry I interrupted; I didn't think anyone was here." She took three steps back, almost reaching the hallway. "I'll leave you two alone."

Emma didn't think twice when she exited the training room and started running towards her bedroom. She held some tears, she wasn't supposed to cry when her _parabatai_ was flirting with another girl, and she wasn't supposed to get jealous if he smiled or kissed another girl.

Just the thought of Julian doing all those things gave her nausea.

She reached her bedroom in a matter of seconds, and when she entered it she closed the door and she rested her back in the cold metal. She tried to breath normally again, retrieving the air she had lost in that room. Her legs were starting to fail and she let herself slide against the door. When she reached the floor she hid her head between her thighs while she closed her eyes.

She was so _messed up._

She knew perfectly what all this reaction had meant. Emma couldn't hide her feelings anymore, she was being so evident when members of the Clave where two bedrooms away, watching every movement she made.

Why did she feel that way? Why couldn't she fall in love with someone that was good for her?

But, deep inside her heart, she knew Julian was the best man she will ever meet. Jules was her soulmate, not only did he know everything about her, but Emma felt like he owned half of her heart, he had ripped a piece of it and he was holding it every time they were together.

That's how _parabatai_ should feel. Like someone else owns part of your heart, that someone else is your other half.

And yet Emma was not satisfied with that feeling.

She wanted _more._

She wanted _everything_ with Julian; she wanted to share her love, her sorrows, her sacrifices and her mistakes. She wanted to be her partner in battle, in war…her partner for life.

She started realizing she was crazy to feel that way, she was mad if she thought that she could change a law made by the Clave, she was even more insane to think that Julian felt the same way.

Then, she heard a knock on her door.

"Well, you are here." She pointed out, watching as Julian rested his body by the wall.

"Where else would I be?"

"I don't know. Maybe giving Aria her beloved tour." she said, avoiding his eyes completely.

"Why are you acting like this?" he asked, this time, meeting her gaze.

She crossed her arms and gave him a stern look.

"Are you kidding me? You missed the meeting!"

"Yeah, like you even care about _that_."

"I was hoping you were there to discuss about tomorrows assignment, you know they will divide us in groups and well…" she raised an eyebrow. ", I was hoping my _parabatai_ would be there to back me up."

Julian knew her perfectly and she realized he was not buying any word Emma said.

He entered the room and closed the door behind him.

"Let's try this again" he said. "This time you could _really_ try and tell me the truth."

Emma was sure she was blushing now; what would she say? Why couldn't he understand he didn't want to know the real reason why she was fuming about that girl?

"It's better if I don't tell you." She muttered. "Trust me in this one."

Julian was staring at her now, his blue eyes analyzing every inch of her face, he was admiring her as she was some piece of art and now Emma was starting to feel nervous.

"Let me guess…" his voice sound playful. "You didn't like the Lightwood girl."

Emma rolled her eyes.

"It's not that I don't like _her,_ I just don't want strangers living in the Institute."

Julian was about to crack up because of her words.

"Yeah, that's _it._ " Now he was laughing, one hand on his stomach. "You don't want strangers living in the Institute. That's hilarious."

Emma glared at him.

"Julian, I'm serious about this. Stop laughing!"

Her _parabatai_ reached her with both of his arms and gave one step towards her, holding her whole body against his.

Emma was trying to breathe when he said; "I think I already know why you are acting insane."

"I'm not acting insane."

"Yes, you are. A little bit."

"Well…A little bit."

Now Julian was stroking his hands on her arms, and when he reached her face he caressed every corner of it, drawing little circles in her temples and on her cheeks.

Emma was starting to warm up and her heart was beating so fast she wondered if Julian could feel it against his chest.

"She was beautiful, you know." Emma said, trying to sound serene. "I think she is one of the most beautiful girls I've ever seen."

Julian shook his head.

"No, I don't think she is." Her _parabatai_ hold her chin with his hand, making her eyes meet his in just seconds. "I'm staring at the most beautiful girl I've ever seen."

Emma knew that her world had collapsed just in that second. She was replaying his words again and again in her head and she thought she was dreaming or maybe someone had given her some kind of hallucination drug.

"Julian…they are boundaries, you know that."

She didn't care. She didn't want to think there was something, well, someone who was stopping this man to hold her like he was doing it right in that moment. Emma loved the way she felt with him, how their bodies were like a puzzle, matching every piece like they were destined to be together.

He was closer now, Emma didn't know how that was possible but she could feel his breathe against her and their noses collided, meeting each other in the way.

He closed his eyes.

Emma did the same thing.

"You know I can't stop when you are this close to me, Emma." Julian's lips were kissing her neck and they reached her cheeks in seconds, admiring every corner of her face, like she was some kind of goddess. "I won't let go of you."

In that moment Emma realized Julian's heart was beating just as fast as her was. She could feel it against her chest and when his lips met hers, she thought their hearts were about to explode.

All this time she was worrying about Julian falling in love with someone else, she was driving her crazy with the thought of him with the Lightwood girl.

She was being so stupid.

Now she knew how he felt, how Julian was dealing with the exact same feelings she had.

What would they do?

They couldn't hide this forever. They just couldn't.

It was _impossible._

And yet she could not stop kissing the boy who was in front of her, she could not get over the fact that now Julian had pinned her against the wall and was kissing her desperately, as if there were no tomorrow.

He wrapped one of his arms around her waist, bringing her even closer to his body, and holding the back of his neck with the other one.

Emma felt like she was in paradise.

He bit her lower lip and she moaned against his mouth; his eyes were burning, full of desire. Full of love.

"Are you sure about this?" she gasped, between kisses. "I can't… _we_ can't…"

Julian took a deep breath and looked at her the same way he did when her parents died, with the same childish tenderness, with the same pure love.

"You know why I accepted Helen's task? Do you think I didn't want to be by your side in the meeting? I knew that members of the Clave would be there and you would get all sentimental about them. I knew you were going to be late." A little smile was drawn in Julian's face. "It's like I know everything about you, Emma. Every move you'll make, every time you get angry, or jealous, or you are grateful for something I just…know. It's like you are part of me in so many ways."

"I am part of you, Julian." She extended her arm, right where there loyalty rune was. "We are _parabatai._ "

Now he was touching the rune with his fingers and his eyes fell right there, where he had drawn that rune, where they had sworn loyalty to each other like brothers did.

"Don't you think I already know that, Em?" he asked. He started playing with her hair like he did when they were children and they just laid in Julian's bed until they felt asleep. "I know what _we_ are. You know it too. But you also know this is different for us, we are not like the other _parabatai's._ "

Emma closed her eyes, trying to accept the fact that now they were both aware of their feelings, of their love for each other. And it was so wrong, in many ways, they were breaking so many laws Emma couldn't count them all with her fingers.

Yet she wanted to stay like this forever. She wanted his _parabatai_ to hold her until her last days.

"I accepted the task because I knew a Lightwood was coming to the Institute and you know what they say about Lightwood girls. They are beautiful, just as Isabelle, or Aria herself. I had the stupid idea that if I could meet her and maybe realize she was not a bad girl, that she was gorgeous and a great Shadowhunter just maybe I would fall for her. That, maybe, I could stop thinking about you all the _goddamn_ day."

Now it was her who approached him, she held his face between her hands and started giving him little kisses in his lower lip as he closed his eyes to enjoy the feeling.

"And could you?" Emma asked joking. "She helped you forget about me?"

Julian opened his eyes and looked deep inside her soul.

"I think you already know the answer for that question, Emma Carstairs" He kissed her ear until he reached her face again. "It took me about five minutes to tell her I wasn't feeling good and that I wanted to rest. Surprise, surprise. In a blink of an eye I was knocking at your door."

Emma rested her arms around his neck, laying her head against the wall while she bit her lip.

"When I saw you with her I really thought I was losing you."

Jules gave Emma a kiss on her forehead. He hugged her and rested his chin on her head, both of their bodies as close as they could get.

While they were hidden in a bedroom in the middle of the Institute her _parabatai_ whispered;

"I'm forever yours, Em."


	2. War Zone

It was early in the morning when Emma woke up. Usually, when she knew they had to do some research or go and kill some demons she was overjoyed but today was different. She didn't know what to do or how to act when she was near Jules and to make everything worse a bunch of members of the Clave where going to be there. She hoped Helen realized it had no sense to spend more time at the Institute and that they had to start the investigations for these mysterious attacks immediately.

Emma wasn't one of those girls who spent hours to get ready, in twenty minutes she was already walking towards the library, with her hair tied in a long pony tail and her training suit on. She had her stele hooked to her pants as well as her blade; she touched both instruments, just to be sure she had them on, and she felt a sudden thrill growing through her body.

She entered the library and she couldn't believe she was the first one to arrive, never in her entire life had Emma been punctual, let alone she had been the first one to get to one of Helen's meetings. She picked the same chair where she had sat yesterday, waiting for someone to get there when she realized that most people where having breakfast at that time of the morning.

"You aren't a breakfast person either."

Emma gave a small leap from her chair when she heard a woman's voice. She turned to face the girl, not sure when had she entered the library or if she was already there when Emma had arrived.

Clary Fairchild stepped from the shadows.

"I don't like eating before a battle." she answered, while she started playing with her fingers.

"How do you know you are going to fight?" Clary asked.

"Usually when we use the excuse of the "research teams" it's because we are just going to end up fighting with someone or something. It's always like that."

Clary gave Emma a sweet smile and she remembered how she had defended her in Idris, while she was having the worst time of her life and they wanted to take her away from Julian and all her other friends. Or better said, her _family._

"I can't believe how much you've grown; I still remember when you were a little child in Idris. You always reminded me so much of my husband Jace, brave and fearless. I think you are so much alike. You haven't changed a bit."

Emma was so moved by her words, even though she didn't seemed the kind of girl that had so many girlfriends she retained a fondness towards Clary that it didn't change despite the fact that it had been so many years.

"I never had the chance to thank you for all that you've done for me, Clary." Emma said, smiling back. "I'm so glad that you've been part of my childhood, I was having such a hard time and every time I spoked with you everything seemed…easier."

Emma was being sincere, she had thought so many times to go and visit Clary and her family but she had never dared. Clary was a Shadowhunter, a great one, and she understood how Emma felt towards her.

Clary was sitting next to her now and Emma had a flashback, she closed her eyes for a second and she found herself sitting in Idris, while Sebastian was threatening to destroy the entire world. Now, Emma was side by side with the girl who had saved the Shadow and the mundane world.

It was kind of _awesome._

"Emma, you can always count on me." They both turned when they realized they weren't alone anymore, Jules had entered the library and he was standing at the door fixing his gaze on Emma, almost asking her for permission. She nodded. Clary followed her glances and a sassy smile was drawn in her face. " _Always._ " She repeated, staring at Julian.

Julian said hello to Clary and then she sat next to her _parabatai_. Clary stood up and started reorganizing some books, just to give them some privacy.

"Good morning." Jules whispered.

Emma gave him a caring smile, trying to pretend everything was more than fine.

"Are you excited for today?" she asked.

Julian seemed a little bit confused.

"Are _you?_ " he inquired, adverting that Emma was not telling him something.

"Yes, I think I am." She replied, trying not to raise her voice. "I wanted to talk to you about this yesterday, but…" she paused for a second, remembering their kiss at her bedroom and all that had happened. It was too much to take but she didn't want to ruin the moment. "I think these murders have something to do with my parent's assassin. The mark gave me chills, I think there is something weird going on."

Julian crossed his arms and watched her astonished.

"Em, I think we are both aware that these murders aren't normal. We are gathering all these people to help us find who and why are they doing this." Jules took one of Emma's hands, gently stroking it. "I know you are still focused on what happened to your parents but I think this have nothing to do with them. I don't want you to get all your hopes up and then be disappointed."

Emma sighed and released Julian's hand, avoiding his gaze.

"You don't understand." she replied "I have a feeling. This time is real. I know it. It _has_ to be."

Emma's voice was begging him to believe in her, to accompany her in this moment. She could never do it without him. She knew she was weak without her other half.

Helen burst into the library with all the members of the Clave behind her and, of course, the Lightwood girl. She smiled at Julian and started walking towards him, she gave him a little kiss in the cheek and then waved at Emma.

Aria sat next to them and Emma was about to kill someone.

"I'm going to say this quickly so we can start our missions." Helen started handing some maps and Emma was the last one to receive one. "I already divided the zone, we are going to the crimes scenes to get some clues or at least something that will lead us to the killer or the group who is murdering all this people. We can't stand this anymore, we need to find them. We had very peaceful years after the Dark War and we can't afford this violence again."

Emma closed her fist when she heard Helen mentioning the Dark War; so many memories she tried to erase through the years, so many images she wanted to forget.

So many people she wanted to get back.

"You need to be alert, maybe there are people surveilling the zones or they could also have sent some demons. Beware Shadowhunters, this is serious and we need to get this job done as soon as possible."

Helen nodded and everybody stood up, walking towards the exit to start with their missions.

Emma picked up the map, they were near there zone and she was glad she didn't have to travel a lot to get there.

Emma was about to exit the library when Helen's voice stopped her.

"Emma" she almost shouted. Emma turned around and met her gaze. "Don't forget Aria, she is going with you and Julian."

Emma was speechless again, Helen was leaving her voiceless quite often these days. Julian tried to act like everything was fine but he knew Emma was about to punch someone in the face. Aria was just standing there, not knowing what was going on.

Emma rolled her eyes but no one saw her.

"Well, let's go." She said "We have a _psycho_ to catch."

Emma had to hold her nose because of the bad smell. The area that they had been assigned was an abandoned warehouse and none of them had been able to breathe fresh air since they'd arrived. The building extended almost to the middle of the block, most of the windows were shattered and it appeared that the property had suffered some kind of accident, such as a fire. Emma confirmed that theory when the three Shadowhunters entered the building and their feet were filled with dust, it was impossible to avoid it as not only their costumes were full of it but it was even harder to breath normally.

The place was creepy.

"There were demons here." Julian said "My stone does not stop vibrating."

For his fifteen birthday Emma gave Jules a stone; every time there were demons or they've had been near its perimeter the stone started vibrating.

The Shadowhunters walked on, farther and farther to the abandoned warehouse. Luckily they had decided to go broad daylight as the building did not have any other light other than the sun. The smell was the same as they continued to advance, but she knew it was going to get worse.

Emma stopped when she felt something hit her feet. When she bowed her head she gasped when she realized a fairy Seelie was dead at her feet.

"By the Angel" she exclaimed "I thought Helen said that the corps had been removed from the zones."

Aria bent down next to Emma to examine the body. She closed the fairy's eyes and mouth, as they were both wide open.

"What was a Seelie doing in this warehouse?" Aria asked.

Julian stared at the dead body and then touched his chin.

"I don't think he came here voluntarily" he said, now staring at Emma. He knew what she was looking for when she started examining the whole body, searching for the Mark Helen was talking about.

She found it in just seconds and met Julian's gaze.

"Here it is." She pointed out, showing the mark engraved with fire.

Aria covered her mouth as she looked at it, completely overwhelmed.

At the same moment the three Shadowhunters heard a roar behind them. When Emma turned her hand was already down her waist and her blade was in her hand, shining like never before. A demon the size of a closet was in front of her; Emma looked at Julian, connecting as each time they did when they went into battle. He nodded and Emma was the first to approach the beast; the demon was ruby color, his mouth stretched almost all over his body and Emma could not discern if it had eyes. Most demons had not, with just smelling the Shadowhunters or just hear them was enough. The demon roared again when he heard Emma was approaching him with the blade in her hand and with full concentration.

Emma tried to nail the sword into the demon's chest but he was faster and completely evaded her attack. It was Julian who took advantage of the distraction of the beast and thrust his sword in his back. Emma turned to meet Aria frightened eyes, her hand would not stop shaking and had not taken his sword.

"Aria, come here," Emma shouted when Julian saved her skin. "You're a Lightwood, dammit!"

Aria knew what she had to do, she gathered courage and approached the beast with the sword in her hand. Emma hoped she had been right when she had urged her to fight.

The demon charged Julian and Emma tried to stab the sword again, the tail of the beast slammed into her body and Emma flew up crashing into a column. She felt a sharp pain in her back that ended up spreading throughout her entire body. She was not going to surrender. She opened her eyes and watched the two Shadowhunters lashing out against the demon; she stood as quickly as possible and ran to meet him.

A brilliant idea crossed by the Shadowhunter's head.

"Aria I need you to distract him for a minute." Emma said and Aria nodded, not sure what was she doing.

While she was engaged to distract the monster Emma approached her _parabatai._

"I need you to lift me." Emma looked at the ceiling again and confirmed her plan.

"Are you sure?"

"Now"

Julian took the girl's feet and lifted her; Emma could reach the roof in just a moment and she hung by the old blocks, praying that none collapsed. Jules went to meet Aria to help her this time and Emma began to climb through the bars, with her eyes fixed on the beast.

The demon emitted unbearable sounds and that made even harder to concentrate. Emma now hung from the ceiling trying to reach the beast. Aria did not know what to do but Jules had perfectly understood her plan and was approaching the devil towards Emma's position. When Emma had him under her body she jumped from the roof and landed on the demon's back. She clung as hard as she could because the demon's skin was slippery, almost like a jelly. The monster gave a roar and Emma circled his neck with her blade.

She was about to kill him when the tip of the beast's tail grazed her arm and wounded her, causing a gash in the area and a stinging that Emma had not felt for a long time. Nevertheless, she did not hesitate when she had to cut his throat. She forgot about the pain and the burning coming from her arm, she gathered courage and pierced his neck with the blade as Julian took advantage of the distraction and attacked the demon's chest.

In an instant the demon vanished and Emma fell from about ten meters. She closed her eyes and collapsed against the cold marble, still with her arm on fire.

She could barely open her eyes but she felt Julian's arms holding her when she landed. The boy's breathing was irregular, just like hers.

"By the Angel, are you alright?" he asked, as he examined her arm.

She tried to nod. Jules started drawing an Iratze with his stele and the burning was getting worse and worse. Emma felt she was going to faint at any time.

"You both need to see this." Aria's voice sounded like an echo in Emma's head, she didn't have the strength to answer her.

"We have a little bit of a _situation_ here." Jules exclaimed, really upset.

"The Seelie left a note." She continued, without caring about his words.

Emma thought she was dreaming when Aria's started reading;

" _Sebastian's followers are still alive. The Dark War was just the beginning."_


	3. Infirmary Confessions

Emma had a bad dream that night. She usually avoided thinking too much about dreams or giving them some sort of meaning because she thought it was a waste of time since she was used to dream about silly or unimportant things.

That night it was different.

Emma stood by herself in a broad meadow. She realized she was a child again, the sky was clear and as blue as ever. The meadow was filled with flowers and the sun was warming her whole body. She had started walking when she saw both of her parents in the distance; they were standing next to each other with both arms wide open, as if they were waiting for Emma to run into their arms and hug them. Now she was smiling, like she did when she was a child, pure love and amusement drawn in her little face. She was wearing a red silky dress that made her eyes stand.

She was now running towards them, feeling as they had never left her, feeling like an innocent child yet again.

When she was a few steps from them something made her stop. The landscape had now changed. The sky was dark and it looked like it was about to rain. Suddenly, the meadow was burning, a big fire surrounding not just the little girl but her parents too.

Black crows were coming from everywhere and Emma started screaming and crying as never before.

"Mom! Dad!" she shouted as loud as ever.

But the fire had already absorbed them and she was just standing there, immune to death. She was feeling as she was the worst daughter ever, for leaving her parents there to die while she was alive with a pain inside her that no one would ever take away.

…..

Emma woke up in the middle of the night, her breathing unsteady and still a little shocked after her recent dream.

She was lying on a bed that was not hers in a dark room. She followed with her gaze the only light in the room and she realized that it was coming from Julian's stone. Her _parabatai_ was asleep next to her in a chair beside the bed. Surely they were in the Institute infirmary.

Emma sat back and tried to sit up, with all the strength she could gather to follow the movement. She barely managed to carry it out when she felt the burning in her right arm, the one where the demon's tail had hurt her and the same with which she landed after killing him.

Nevertheless, the pain had subsided and now she could at least use it.

After Aria had read the message of the victim Emma had fainted and that was the last thing she remembered. Then she appeared in this room.

She closed her eyes for a moment and remembered the words written by the fairy before dying, the message had confirmed that the killings had not been pure chance.

Emma gave a long sigh when she heard Julian's voice through the cold darkness.

"You are awake." he whispered.

Emma gave him a sympathetic smile.

"Jules, what are you doing here?" she gently asked. "It's so late, you should be resting. I'm serious."

He shook his head and, despite the darkness, Emma could visualize the confusion in his eyes.

"I needed to know you were alright." he answered, as it was the most obvious answer in the world. Emma knew she would do the same thing. "It was a pretty hard fall."

Emma reached Jules hand and squeezed it.

"I'm fine, Jules." She muttered "Just a little dizzy."

He nodded this time as he approached her, taking her hand with both of his, resting them on her stomach.

"I've been here all day?"

"Yes. I didn't want to wake you; you needed to rest after the fight." His words were so kind that Emma realized she was the luckiest girl in the world.

"I think I really needed it." She agreed with him "Thank you, Jules."

This time it was Emma who landed her left hand in one of his cheeks, gently stroking his _parabatai_ skin, feeling it warm against her own. He rested his head on her hand and he closed his eyes for a brief moment, calmly breathing.

"I'm so glad you are okay." He whispered, as if it were a secret.

"I just had an awful dream and when I woke up I remembered Aria's last words before I lost consciousness." Julian tensed at her words "Was I dreaming about that too? Is it really happening after all this years?"

Emma knew the answer of this question, she was only trying to check she wasn't going nuts or something, because after all that time she could barely stand the fact that Sebastian's followers were still out there, murdering innocent people.

Innocent just as her parents _were_.

"You remember correctly, Em." He said, his voice sounded a little bit defeated and she wondered why "I just don't think that will change anything. We can talk about this tomorrow, seriously. You don't need to hear this now. You need to rest."

Julian was avoiding her gaze and Emma was starting to freak out.

"Hear about what?" she exclaimed "What are you talking about?"

"Em, _please_ "

"Tell me. Right now"

Emma forgot about everything, about the sharp pain throbbing in her arm, about all the things she wanted to do with Julian just a few inches from her.

She knew something was wrong.

"The Clave didn't see the message as a real clue, they said that the Seelies were just messing with us like they did in the Dark War. They don't trust them, you are well aware of that, after all that happened…" Jules swallowed and then he continued. "All the research teams only found traces of demonic activity, not a body or a real demon like we did. They don't think that the fairy we found was a pure coincidence. They believe the Seelies set us a trap, just to take revenge after all that happened."

Emma was speechless now, her eyes were filled with tears but she held them there, trying to speak or to mutter a single word.

Everything was spinning in her head.

"How can they think the Seelies would kill one of their own just to make us a stupid and unnecessary "prank"?" Emma realized she was shouting now. "The message was clear and we should be investigating now not making stupid theories about Downworlders conspirating against us! I can't believe it!"

Jules was now stroking her, trying to give Emma some strength after what he had said to her. He knew he didn't have to, it wasn't the right time and he could not bear to see her like that. It broke his heart.

"We can talk to the Clave tomorrow, Em." Jules said, with a promising voice.

Emma shook her head.

"I'm sick of the Clave. I will start doing things by my own from now on." She tried to sound tenacious but she never been so crushed. "I'm starting my own research team. Member: **me**."

Jules rolled his eyes.

"You are crazy if you think I will let you fight with…whatever _this_ is all by yourself." He said "I'll be by your side. You know that."

"No! You can't go against the Clave, Jules. You have a family to protect, a family to care about… I have _nothing._ Nothing to worry about; I'm not allowing you to do this. Case closed."

Julian stood up and folded his arms across his chest. He looked at her as if she was just a little girl and Emma remembered the dream she had had only a few minutes ago. The same sense of innocence, the same sense of happiness she felt when she saw her parents her _parabatai_ was transmitting her right now.

It all made sense when he looked at her that way.

Jules sat down next to her and then lie down beside her; the bed was only a square and their bodies were one above the other. Julian held her in his arms and Emma snuggled up to him, surrounding the boy's chest with her hands and resting her head on his neck.

She could scent the perfume of his skin; Julian no longer smelled of dust and demon blood, now he looked like something out of a romantic movie. Emma placed her lips just where a rune had been drawn before the battle; it crossed around his neck to his chin, and Emma drew it with her own lips. Jules tried to keep his breathing steady but it was too difficult, not with her kissing him like that.

"I beg you not to say that again, Emma" he whispered. "I can't stand the thought of you dead, lost or even hurt. Don't you _dare_ say that you have nothing ever again; you are my other half, my _parabatai,_ but you are also the girl I love most in this entire world. You are all I care about, if something happened to you…"

Jules was drowned with his own words as he realized what he just said. Emma was paralyzed, she was repeating his words over and over again and she couldn't get over the fact that he had just admitted her he loved her.

The two of them were completely still and silent.

When things were starting to get a little awkward Emma stood up and she sat on Julian's lap. Her chest was against his, pressing it hard, and she took her _parabatai_ face in her hands. She found his gaze, admiring his deep blue eyes and how sexy he looked with all his hair messed up.

She gave him a short kiss in his cheek.

She followed the path of his skin until she found his lips, they were half open, his cold breath colliding against hers. Julian's hands were climbing on her back down to her neck; he took her gently and bent to kiss her, waiting a few seconds, as if asking for her permission.

That's when she slammed her lips against his.

Jules was holding her by her neck, guiding her mouth and her tongue, hitting the spots she knew he liked the best. They were both closing their eyes, as if it was some sort of established rule, but Emma knew she did it because she could only concentrate on the feeling of this boy kissing her passionately.

This is the kiss where Emma realized she could not live without him.

This is the first and the only kiss she wants to keep forever.

His breathing was irregular and Emma was trying to appear calm but it was impossible, she felt like she was in heaven. She knew that paradise must felt like this.

It was at that moment when her hands began to caress Julian's chest over his clothes, feeling his warm skin beneath the fabric. She did not realize at that time she had slipped her hands under his shirt and now she felt his skin against hers, true to her touch, as if he had been waiting for this moment all his life.

Jules bit her lower lip when Emma took his hands and placed them on her breasts, wanting more, more of his touch, more of his skin. She wanted more of _him_.

Julian took the opportunity to stroke the outline of her body, without depriving himself of any area, and Emma felt so comfortable she thought she could do this for the rest of her life.

Only him and her

Alone

Forever

Emma took off his shirt and admired his body for a moment, still trying to accept the fact that now they absolutely had broken all the laws that they had been and that there will be.

Emma took him by the neck and pulled him even closer to her, feeling not only his breathing had hardened under her touch but also his entire body. She glimpsed something of modesty in Julian's eyes but she kissed him again, as if to say that everything was fine.

She did not want anything or anyone to separate them.

When she raised her own arms to remove her shirt she felt a burning in her arm, causing her to lower her arms as she moaned because of the pain. She still could not make much effort and, even if she wanted to, her body didn't allow her to do it. Emma bit her lip trying to evade the pain as her arm had now returned to ache again.

"By the angel" Julian was trying to retrieve the air "I almost forgot you were still hurt. I'm so sorry." He sounded ashamed and Emma could not have loved him more right in that second.

"We can continue, Jules. I'm sorry I stopped."

He shook his head.

"No" He moved and shook her off his waist, laying her on the bed again. Emma felt somewhat betrayed and he noticed. "I mean ... it's not that I do not want to. Believe me, there's nothing I want _more_. I just don't think this is the right time or the right place."

Emma avoided his gaze and stared at the floor for a few minutes.

"We do not know if we are going to have another chance like this. With no one watching us."

Jules leaned to kiss her one last time on the lips.

"We will figure this out, Em," he said "As we always do."

With those last words Jules left the infirmary and Emma closed her eyes, falling asleep again and, this time, she had no overwhelming dream.

She slept like never before.


	4. Exposed

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Jules was sitting in the dining room having breakfast when he realized how early it was. He had been zombie walking all night long, not only because he had been sleeping next to Emma almost all day long at the infirmary but because he couldn't stop thinking about what had happened with the Seelie. He knew he had to let it go but deep inside his heart he knew his _parabatai_ was right and that these deaths were not a pure coincidence. Could they go against the Clave without any consequence or any punishment? He perfectly knew the answer to that question but he was also aware that when Emma had an idea fixed in her mind she would never turn the other cheek.

Jules was taking a sip from his coffee when Helen burst into the room. He was surprised that no member of the Clave was following her.

"Good morning" she said, with a big smile on her face.

Jules bow his head just to greet her and just stared at her for a brief moment; he never realized how pale Helen was, but he had always loved her hair, blond as Emma's but so much whiter, as if she was being illuminated by some sort of halo between her all day long.

She took a cup of coffee and she sat in front of Jules, still a little sleepy.

"How is Emma holding up?" she asked. Jules knew she had good intentions but he could not hide how mad he was at her after agreeing with the Clave.

"She is better now" he replied "Well, after the news I delivered her yesterday I don't really know now."

Helen stared at Julian for a moment, almost begging him to understand her, as if she could contact him through her eyes. Jules was so vulnerable around few people and Helen was one of them; he could not be mad at her forever but right now he felt as if following Emma's sick plan was the best option.

"Julian. Do you know how hard this is for me? I can't go against the Clave when the majority thinks otherwise, it's not that easy" Helen sighed, a little tired. "You are also aware of how the Clave distrusts me for my blood, for not being one hundred percent Shadowhunter. Do you think they'd like me if I were to defend the fairies, after all they have done to the Shadow World? After all they have done to _us_?"

Jules could not believe Helen was bringing his brother's subject up, he could not bear when she talk about him not because he didn't want to remember but because he wasn't strong enough to do it. In his mind, he always dreamt about that day, when they took him, when his life became worthless.

"Are you then saying you will not do the right thing just because it would tarnish your image to defend the fairies even though, this time, they have nothing to do with this?"

Jules voice sounded judgmental but he could not hide his disconcert, not when Helen was talking nonsense.

"I'm saying I will do what is best for this family, for you and your brothers. And for Mark" She stood up, leaving the coffee on the table, her arms crossed over her chest "I know Emma had this kind of feeling about finding her parent's assassin. I'm sorry but she has to realize that not everything that evolves murders has to do with _them._ You might do that as well."

Jules shook his head, wondering who the person in front of his eyes was as she looked nothing like his sister.

"I can't believe what you're saying," he mused, "After all that Emma had to endure..."

Helen closed her eyes for a moment, almost analyzing what her next words were going to be and Jules was expecting them, preparing himself for the worst.

"I know, Jules. I'm sorry but…"

"What would you do?" Jules was the one who stood this time and now he pointed her with his finger. He was out of control. He didn't remember the last time he was _this_ angry. "If Aline had lost both parents, murdered in cold blood, and you had even the slightest clue of the whereabouts of their killer you'd be sitting doing nothing or would you fight for the person you love more than _anything_ else?! "

Helen froze and she made no sound. Julian realized what he had said just seconds later when he saw his sister's reaction. Why he felt so exposed? Why she looked at him as if she knew there was a double meaning behind his last confession?

Julian could not wait for his sister's response because he turned around and almost ran out the door of the room, aimlessly, just to get away from her and everything he had said.

How those words had escaped? Had he lost his mind?

An abysmal rage began to rise from his feet, invading his chest and the Shadowhunter had to pause for a moment to catch his breath. Julian leaned his forehead against the wall and relaxed, absorbing the tranquility and silence of the Institute at that time of the morning.

Now, he had ruined _everything_.

* * *

Emma had been locked up in her room almost all day. She was still recovering from her recent wound but the truth was she was gathering courage to do something she had been analyzing all day long.

She was in the hallways now, running towards the library, she could not wait anymore because she was about to explode.

When she arrived she was glad when she saw Clary having a cup of tea while she was reading a book. She didn't want to bother her, as she seemed so absorbed in her reading, but she knew that if she didn't do it now she would never gather the strength to speak to her again.

"Clary"

The red haired girl raised her head and gave Emma a warm smile.

"Emma, are you alright?" She really seemed concerned. "I went to the infirmary this morning but you weren't there anymore. I guessed you were just resting in your bedroom. I didn't want to wake you up"

Clary's words sounded just as words Emma's mother would said; she knew Clary was not as old as her mother was but she found in her some parental love she had lost when their parents were murdered. Clary was more like a big sister to Emma, but she felt like she could ask for her advices just like she did with her mom.

"I'm fine. Thanks" Emma replied, sitting next to her. She showed the scar that now it was healing thanks to Julian's iratze. "I think you already know why I'm here, Clary."

Clary's eyes were as green as ever, just as green as the meadow she had dreamt about the other night, right before it turned dark and burst into flames. She had a long ponytail and she was holding a pencil, Emma guessed she was just taking some notes from the book she had in her hands.

Clary closed the book and stared at her.

"So…you heard about the Clave." She sighed, and Emma felt a hope flourish inside her chest.

"Julian told me about it yesterday. I know this is going to sound a little crazy and I understand if you want to report me to the Clave but I was hoping you could help me with this. I _know_ that Sebastian's followers are still alive, I don't know how many of them but there's no need to be a big crowd to convince a few demons to turn against us again. To turn more Downworlders against us, as they did years ago. Clary, I'm _begging_ for your help. I can't let this happen again, I will not stand to see more Shadowhunters or Downworlders killed because of _them._ What if they mess with the people we love again? I can't bear the thought of losing Jules or Tavvy…"

Emma was now out of air. She could not hide her concern, her need to do something about this matter, the need to protect the few family she had left.

Clary nodded her head and Emma thought she was dreaming.

"You are right, Emma." Clary said, as if she already had been thinking about this. "My brother was a powerful Shadowhunter and I have no doubt that he left a lot of his followers even after his death. The Clave doesn't want to admit this is a big issue, as usually. But, if my children are going to live in this world I can't be worrying about a mad fanatic killing them in some alley just for revenge. I would not allow it."

Emma wanted to hug Clary so bad, she wanted to tell her how much she admired her tenacity and her power to make decisions. She had so many things she wanted to say yet she stayed silent.

"Are you telling me what I think you are telling me?" Emma muttered; too surprised to say anything else.

"I'm going to call Jace this evening and update him with this recent news. We will gather some more Shadowhunters and we are going to be out to the fields in two days or three at the most. I know this is a silly question…Are you sure you want to come Em?" Clary met her gaze full of concern and, at the same time, tenderness. "This is going to be dangerous and we will be going against the Clave. You are young and maybe you could think about this twice."

Emma stood up and held her stele hard against her chest and looked at the roof, as she could see her parents there, watching her, proud of her decisions, proud of her bravery.

"I've never been more prepared for something in my entire life" Emma kneeled in front of Clary, as a sign of redemption but also a sign of gratefulness. "I'm in, Clary."

* * *

Helen was not sure about what was she was about to do. She held her phone close to her ear, almost as if she was asking the thing for permission to do it.

She dialed Aline's number and she picked up at the first tone.

" _Sweetheart"_ Aline answered with her soft voice.

Helen was silent for a second and she was about to hung up when Aline spoked again.

"Baby, are you alright?" She sounded really concerned "You are scaring the hell out of me…"

"I'm fine" Helen answered, a little bitter. "I need to talk to you."

"Do you want me to come to the Institute? You don't sound so good"

Helen laid down in her bed, her head spinning yet wondering if she had to keep her feelings or tell her right away.

"What do you think about Emma and Jules?" she asked and it sounded as a naïve question.

Helen couldn't see Aline but she knew that if she were here, in front of her, she would make an awkward face.

"What do you mean?" she questioned her "Like brother like sister. Why are you asking me this Helen? Has something happened to them?"

"Everything is alright, _honey._ " Helen thought she was going nuts or insane. "I don't want you to judge me but I don't think they see each other like that anymore."

"What do you mean? They are _parabatai._ "

"That's exactly what I mean. They are bound to be together until… " _Where thou diest, will I die, and there will I be buried. The Angel do so to me, and more also, if aught but death part thee and me"._ She remembered perfectly the oath, she could never have a _parabatai_ because of her blood but she had studied it many years ago.

"Is there a logical reason of why you are reciting me the _parabatai_ oath? Should I be concerned?" Now Aline's voice wasn't soft anymore, yet she sounded comprehensive.

Helen gather all her forces to say her next words, she almost whispered them as she knew she wasn't allow to say them.

"I think they love each other, Aline."

"We already know they love each other."

"Not like brother like sister. They love each other like I love you or you love me."

"Oh…Shit" she gasped, behind the phone.

"That's what I've thought" Helen replied "Oh…Shit."


	5. Sweet Revenge

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Emma knew this was the day she had been longing for so many years, the day she started chasing her parents murderer. Things were being a little weird those last days because everything they were planning had to be kept a secret, even Clary's conversations with her husband and relatives. Emma had to explain everything to Julian and, even though he seemed a little stressed or concern about something he would not tell her, he had agreed to be part of the plan.

Emma was longing for this since the day their parents were killed, after being so traumatized she couldn't even sleep without having awful nightmares, after realizing life was not fair and that even good people were hurt or killed, without any reason at all.

"Are you sure he is going to be there?" Emma asked, while she sat on Clary's temporary bed on the Institute.

She was already dressed, she looked so beautiful just as any Shadowhunter did in black dresses. Her hair was all messed up but high in a classy ponytail.

"Magnus told us he is going to be there. We must trust him." Clary said, while she was applying some eyeliner "You know we can't burst into the Seelies realm right now, not if we don't want the Clave to find out. We must contact the Queen's assistant first, we must talk to him and if everything goes as we planned he would keep his mouth shut and arrange us a meeting with her."

Emma nodded. She just wanted to be sure that the plan was good, she didn't want to spoil their only chance to avoid the Clave and find whoever was arranging all this murders.

"Who is coming tonight? I guess not everyone, right?" Emma inquired.

Clary gave her a quick and sweet smile.

"Jace and Alec are coming with us" she answered "And Jules, of course."

Emma was trying to breath normally but she could not believe she was going on a secret mission with the three most famous Shadowhunters in the world. It was crazy, all this was insane, but she couldn't remember the last time she felt that kind of rush, that kind of adrenaline running through her veins.

"You are planning to go to that party wearing jeans and a t-shirt?" Clary raised her eyebrow and stared at Emma like she was some kind of freak.

"I thought we were going to use the Invisibility Rune" she replied, knowing she was sounding so naive.

"Yeah we are, but I mean.. You can't go like that to a party, Emma Carstairs." Clary was laughing when she started searching for some outfit for the girl. "You remind me so much of myself when I was younger. I had this same conversation with Isabelle years ago."

She shrugged, trying to hide the fact that she felt like Clary was like her sister now, she didn't want to admit the fact that she wanted a family so bad that even those little gestures like giving her some silly dress for a party meant so much to her.

"Take this one" Clary threw her a black dress that seemed torn. "It's hot. Seriously. Try it on."

Emma started shaking her head because she knew she was going to look ridiculous but she couldn't deny she wanted to try on the dress, she hadn't been in a party for years and although this was all part of the plan she was excited.

She tried the dress on and then Clary gave her a pair of long black boots that were seriously breathtaking.

Now Emma couldn't believe how she looked when she stared at herself in the mirror. She looked like a movie star and she couldn't hide her amusement.

"You look perfect. We are going to be late so we need to start moving" Clary walked her to her bedrooms entrance. "We need to be quiet if we don't want Helen to see us."

"Clary..." Emma whispered.

"What?"

"I think I can't run with this boots. I mean, if we have to fight or something I think I'm going to fall."

Clary tried not to laugh so hard.

"Oh, Emma... I think Izzy would kill you if she heard you saying those words" Clary gentily stroke her back. "Don't be nervous, girl. You are gonna rock it."

* * *

Clary went outside the Institute to wait for Jace and Alec and Emma's first task was to get Julian and get him out of the Institute without Helen noticing he was missing.

When Emma arrived to Julian's door she didn't knock, she burst into the room and she didn't realize all the lights were off until he spoke.

"Em? Is that you?" he murmured.

"It's me" she answered, a little freaked out. "Why is so dark in here?"

"I wanted Helen to think I was already asleep" Julian answered. Emma knew his voice was coming from the bedroom but she couldn't figure out from where. "We need to go now, right?"

Julian sounded so worried, his voice trembled.

"Hey, are you alright?"Emma started walking around trying to find his silhouette "You sound so upset."

"I'm perfectly fine" he answered even though Emma knew this was a lie.

Jules reached her in the darkness and took her hand. He leaned his forehead against hers and she could sense how good he smelled, like apple and cinnamon. She wanted to kiss him so badly but she knew this was not the right time or the right place so she walked away.

"We need to go now" she whispered "I'm leaving the room first, you need to take the back entrance and I will leave by the kitchen's door. Meet me in ten by Joe's Coffee Store."

Jules didn't say a word but Emma knew he did understand the plan so she left the room without saying a word, wondering why Jules sounded so weird, if something really bad had happened or if he was having second thoughts about the plan.

She tried to ignore the fact that she felt something was wrong and focused on the plan. She could not be distracted; not even by the boy she loved most in the world.

* * *

When Emma arrived to Joe's Coffee Store the three Shadowhunters were already waiting there. Clary introduced Emma, even if they had already meet her when she was a little girl, back in Idris when she was torn apart.

Jace looked exactly as she remembered; he was so handsome, so _sexy_ , but his eyes were not there, not with them. He was staring at Clary as she was some sort of relic or treasure, those were eyes full of love, full of tenderness, and she couldn't help wondering if she stared at Julian like that because, if she did, she also wondered how people didn't notice it when Emma knew right away Jace was so deeply in love with her.

Alec, on the other hand, was so different. Physically he looked the same but something in him had changed, something in his soul, his essence. He looked so happy, as if after the war everything had fallen into place in his life.

They were all reviewing the plan when something well, someone, made them stop.

Emma turned around as she watched Julian walking towards them but it was not that that made her blush but it was the look on Julian's face when he saw her. He stared at her as he was about to faint, as he could not bear staring at her.

"Well, that look takes me back years ago..." Jace told Clary, without even bothering in lowering his voice.

"We will finish reviewing the plan now. We leave in five minutes." Alec exclaimed, and the three Shadowhunters left.

Now, Emma was standing beside someone who looked at her without being able to hide his astonishment and she wanted to run far far away.

"Why are you staring at me as if I was some kind of weirdo?"

"By the Angel..."

"Stop. Just, please stop." Emma begged him "We have a plan tonight, it can't go wrong and I can be distracted by..."

Emma stopped before saying anything hurtful but she knew Julian clearly caught the message.

"By me?" he finished the sentence for her "Can I remind you that I'm doing this for you? I'm going against my family, against the Clave..."

"So don't!" Emma knew she was shouting know but she couldn't hide her feelings anymore. "I don't want you to sacrifice everything for me, Julian! I don't want to owe you anything!"

Jules know stared at her like she had torned his heart with her own hands.

"The things I do I do them because I _care_ , not because I want you to owe me anything. We are _parabatai._ Do you remember that or have you forgotten?" Julian's voice was so harsh, so dissapointed. He started walking towards the three Shadowhunters. "Can we go now? We are going to be late."

And without saying another word he left Emma alone, all by herself, with a lump in her throat and a sense of guilt and shame she had not felt for a long time.

Emma dried the single tear that had come loose and promised herself to be strong, nothing could go wrong that night, no mistakes were allowed and she would not let anyone ruin it.

That night was the night were it all began.

The revenge she had so long desired.

It was here.


	6. Nightclub

They had been walking through the streets for almost ten minutes when Clary announced that they were near the club where they were going to meet with the famous Magnus Bane. Emma knew Alec and him were together so she didn't understand why they had to go to that silly club to talk to him but she guessed they were some kind of rules or, even better, that he was going to take them to the Seelies realm just after the party ended.

Emma couldn't hide her excitement but she also couldn't stop looking at her _parabatai_ , sometimes wishing she wouldn't be _that_ weak around him, wishing she could care less sometimes. She knew that was a selfish thought and she hated herself when she had those kind of feelings but she also knew that not growing fond for other people was the best way of becoming a great Shadowhunter. It was contradictory, you could have someone to be your partner for life, your brother or sister, your _parabatai_ , but to become and extraordinary Shadowhunter would require a life of loneliness, a life with no love, hopes or sorrows, just focusing on the task to protect the world from Demons and nothing more. Emma wondered how many Shadowhunters were able to do this, to separate their feelings from their lifes, to become isolated...

"We are here" Jace exclaimed.

When Emma looked up she saw an enourmous club in front of her eyes. It was a fairly modern building with no windows, like a shed that had been remodeled for weekend parties. The blue lights blinded her for a moment and Emma realized that the disco was mundane, which surprised her since she had thought they were going to another kind of party. Clearly, they were able to enter without any problem with the rune of invisibility that they've drawn before leaving the Institute. As they stepped through the door, Jules turned to check that Emma was by her side and their eyes met for a few seconds until Emma looked away. It broke her heart to pretend she did not care, but at that moment there were much more important things to worry about that her love life.

Clary guided them throw the crowd, all the Shadowhunters following her. Emma noticed that each person on that club was mundane and she wondered if they were in the right place. It was right in that moment when she saw a ladder that was heading for some kind of basement or underground disco, where the mark of the Shadowhunters and Downworlders was drawn. Clary headed there and began to descend the ladder at full speed. Emma glanced over and noticed that no one in the club had noticed what was happening around her, much less that there was a parallel disc in the same building. At that moment she thanked to belong to that world.

When they reached the end of the stairs Clary came upon a wooden door, it looked quite old, as if it were from the original building and had been maintained after remodeling the club. Clary drew a rune over the wooden door and it opened wide, revealing a club completely different from the one they had been in a few minutes ago.

The underground club was somewhat similar in structure to the mundane club, but the decor was completely different. The light was almost null, there were only a couple of red reflectors and some white lights that made Emma have to check the floor more than once to keep from falling. There were chandelliers hanging from the ceiling and all fabrics of all colors and all types hung and reaching almost to the floor. Emma was surprised by how many people there were and by the mix between Shadowhunters and Downworlders, partying as if everything was fine.

"Magnus is in that room" Alec pointed another door and everybody followed him now instead.

When they got to the door it was Clary who had to drawn another rune, a rune Emma had never seen before, but she was aware of Clary's gift, everybody knew the daughter of Valentine was able to do extraordinary things, like creating runes out of nowhere. And now, it was Emma who was going against the Clave with them, it was her who was conspiring with the most known Shadowhunters in the world. She still thought she was dreaming, but when they entered the room the guy who was standing in a red suit in front of them was preatty real.

"You are all late" said Magnus, stroking his chin. "I think I will never understand Shadowhunters"

Alec rolled his eyes and walked over to him. He caressed his cheek, like he was the most precious thing in the world.

"If you ever leave without telling me again I will make sure this ring ends up in the depth of the Hudson river" Alec glared at him.

Magnus smirked.

"Sorry, my dear husband, there can always be emergencies in the Downworlders world and one must do his duty, as you surely know." Magnus's gaze was amused, and for Emma they were one of the sweetest couples she'd ever seen.

"I was so worried..." Alec ducked his head and stared at the ground, not daring to look up.

"I know, I know..." Magnus said, trying to reassure him he was okay. He kissed him as if there were no tomorrow. "I will never disappear like that again. I promise"

Alec hugged him and that's when Emma felt Julian's arm brushing her skin, just touching her, as if confirming that he was there, standing right next to her and that he would never leave. Emma bit her lip and tried to ignore the fact that goose bumps had formed and her legs were now trembling, remembering the way they had kissed in the infirmary. She kept her eyes steady, she did not want anyone to suspect anything at all, although Emma supposed that Clary was aware of the situation.

"Well, now we can talk about this particular situation" Magnus said and he beckoned them all to sit down. "I've heard about the deaths of the Seelies, news in the Downworlders world fly as fast as an eagle"

"Members of the Clave are now staying in the Institute" Clary said "They divided us in teams and they sent us to investigate a little more about this events. We found demoniac activity but nothing more, it was only Emma and Julian's team, with one of the Lightwood girls, that have found a body with some mark and a message written on the Seelies body." Clary stared at Emma "You can tell him more"

Emma turned pale as she never imagined Clary would make her talk right there. Magnus watched her for a moment, as if he were remembering old times, and then waited for her to speak.

"We were sent to investigate and old warehouse and the first thing we found was the corpse, with the mark engraved with fire in his body and we've finally found a note that said that Sebastian's followers were still alive and that this was just the beggining" Emma cleared her throat. She had almost forgotten how much it hurt to think that the people who had murdered her parents were still alive. She regained her breath but she could not utter any other words, it was almost as if she had been mute and her throat burned as if she had been set on fire.

Everybody was staring at her and she was starting to freak out when Julian interrupted.

"When we where there a Demon appeared and we had to kill him" he remarked "I think they are working with Demons again, just as Sebastian did years ago, following his steps, his path..."

Magnus was somewhat thoughtful, as if analyzing the situation and after a moment he stood up.

"The Seelies are freaking out too, there were rumors that the Clave was not willing to help them this time and it caused panic and fear. I think we all agree we don't need that anymore."

It was Jace who interrupted this time.

"We need to talk to the Seelies as quickly as possible. Can we arrange a meeting?"

Emma's heart was beating so fast she thought it was going to get out of her chest.

"Absolutely. You have to give me a little more time because I need to speak to them without leaving any trace or the Clave will find out." They all nodded and Emma knew the meeting was over know.

All the Shadowhunters stood up and stood still.

"What are you doing standing there like statues?" Magnus exclaimed indignantly "This is a nightclub, go for a drink and a dance. Tomorrow will be a new day with new concerns but the night just begins."

Emma laughed at the wizard words. Alec followed him to another room and it was there when the four were left alone.

Jace grabbed Clary by the waist and whispered in her ear.

"Do you come here often? Can I buy you a drink?"

Clary smiled and set her eyes on Emma.

"Do you mind if we go to dance for a while?" She asked.

Both Emma and Julian shook their heads and the happy couple went out the door to the room where the bar and music were.

It was in that moment when Emma was completely alone with Julian.

Emma remembered all the moments she'd had lived with Julian, and she could not think of any one more uncomfortable than that one. He was staring at the floor, he would not dare to meet her gaze and she felt a little bit dizzy.

"It all went pretty well" she said, to break the ice. Julian nodded but he was still looking at the floor. Emma took a step toward him, coming as close as possible to his parabatai, almost feeling his breath on hers."I wanted to thank you for what you've done earlier, when I choked." She was so embarassed she didn't want to remember the moment. "I'm so stupid sometimes, I can't believe I did that in front of everybody! I'm sure they must be thinking I'm the same little girl crying over her parents death..."

This time it was Emma who ducked her head and struggled to contain the tears she had been accumulating. Her breathing was irregular and, at that moment, she wanted to disappear.

Julian took her by the chin and looked directly into her eyes. He was comforting her, but this time it was different. His gaze was loving but at the same time he was warning her something and Emma was trying to decipher what it was.

"I want to hold you in my arms so much, Emma."he murmured so low that Emma barely heard him. "But we just can't..." His voice cracked. "You were right, all this time. We can't."

It was the first time Julian had almost run out of a room where her _parabatai_ was. Emma was sure she had felt every bit of her heart shatter since she never thought Jules would say something like that.

He had left her speechless and completely alone in the room.

Emma was so angry that she would hit anyone who crossed her path.

Without doubting it twice she went to the exit and returned to the Institute.

She had nothing more to do in that nightclub.


End file.
